bossyboiler | We all have our FOILbles. -- For prodigalmess

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We all have our FOILbles. -- For prodigalmess

Are you still interested in fencing?

The message was straightforward and direct as was the one that followed it.

I'm catering a special exhibition match this Sunday. I have two spare passes. It'll be fun. If you want them.

The details were then sent. The main event was a tournament put on by the United States Fencing Association. The exhibition matches on Sunday were fencers from France who were not fighting with foils. Sabers were involved but not the kind that most people expected.

Kate had been hired to provide cupcakes for the fencers and judges. She had done her research on the subject. Kate wanted to impress them with their order and the four cupcake flavors that she had brought with them were unique to this event. The Gray Jedi cupcake was an earl gray cake with a honey glaze and lemon buttercream. The Dark Side was a chocolate cake with dark chocolate buttercream that had a dash of cayenne and spice. The Light Side was a vanilla cupcake with a vanilla custard filling that was topped with a caramel buttercream. The Sith was a standard strawberry cupcake with strawberry swiss buttercream but there was a piece of candy glass in the shape of a red lightsaber.

After delivering the cupcakes and setting up the displays, Kate ventured out to watch the exhibitions. She stood out slightly in that, despite the fact that she was catering the event, she was wearing tailored slacks and a button up blouse with small cupcakes printed on it. Most of the people attending were in athleisure or jeans. Her brunette hair was pulled up in a high pony-tail and tied with a ribbon.

There was no way she was going to miss out on watching the matches.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Malcolm is definitely still interested in fencing. Well, he's interested in the swords, mostly, but he enjoys the sport too. When Kate invites him, he says that he'll go with her, not knowing what he's getting himself into.

He's not a huge Star Wars nerd, but he watched the movies as a kid - and he has to admit that this is pretty badass. After helping himself to one of Kate's cupcakes (he'll probably only eat half, but he knows she won't be offended) he sits next to her to watch some of the matches. He's wearing a nice sweater and jeans: casual for Malcolm.

"Have you ever watched anything like this before?" he asks before taking a bite of the Grey Jedi cupcake.

Kate shakes her head and smiles. "Only if you count my two brothers pretending." And she does not count it as they had broken so many things, some of which had been hers. She assumes by his question that he hasn't either. "And the movies."

Slowly, the lights start to dim but the first match hasn't started yet. People are still filing in. "What do you think of the cupcake?" Kate has to know.

"Good!" he says, his mouth still full of cupcake. Malcolm holds a finger up while he swallows. "I like this one. It really tastes like a cup of Earl Grey." Kate's an amazing baker. For someone who is as picky of an eater as Malcolm is, he enjoys Kate's baking. That's a big compliment to her.

Kate beams a smile Malcolm. While she knows that her cupcakes are very good, she enjoys a well-earned compliment. "I'm glad you like it. The vanilla one is fairly sweet but I think you'll like the Sith. It's strawberry."

The lights continue to dim every few moments as if to signal to people that they ought to hurry up and find their seats. "Do you think they'll be wearing costumes?"

"Strawberry is good," he comments. "Blueberry is my favorite, but that makes for a better muffin rather than cupcake." Maybe he'll try the strawberry one later. He tends to eat small amounts at a time.

"I hope so," Malcolm says, putting the rest of his cupcake down on the napkin in his lap. "I feel like that has to be a vital part of this, right?" Setting the mood, making it feel more realistic.

"Is that a challenge, Malcolm Bright?" Because she does love a baking challenge, she enjoys surprising people. Kate hopes he says yes but it's too late anyway. He is doomed to the fate of trying different blueberry cupcakes.

"I think so." She nods her head in agreement. The lights finish dimming and two combatants enter. One is dressed in dark robes and the other in light clearly meant to represent that one is a Sith and the other a Jedi. "I shouldn't be surprised that this-- Oh, I think it's about to start."

"Maybe," he replies with a sly smile. Blueberry cupcakes are now in his future, but he probably won't complain about that. Kate's baking is great, and it's never made him nauseated. He still tries to limit how much he eats out of an abundance of caution. Vomiting is not something he or anyone around him enjoys.

Malcolm turns towards the ring as the lights dim. Dramatic music starts to play in the background and the two combatants strike at each other with very realistic-looking lightsabers. The buzzing electric sound is perfect. "Okay, this is cool," he whispers to Kate.

She accepts the challenge with a slight nod of her head. Malcolm can always share the cupcakes because there are cupcakes in his future along with comment cards. How many different flavors can blueberry be mixed with successfully? She'll find out and document it thoroughly.

"Oh, they have the buzzing." Kate whispers as she leans forward, very focused on the fight. The buzzing is the best part. "I was doing some research on lightsabers." One of the cupcakes needed a decoration! "Apparently, it's more dangerous to use a dual-blade than a single. The wielder is more likely to hit themselves than their opponent."

She's going to be the reason that he gains some weight. His mother will be thrilled. Malcolm's glad that they reconnected though. Kate's been a good friend to him and he hopes he's been the same to her.

"Okay, wait," Malcolm says, his mouth slightly agape. "Are the lightsabers real?" He knows that technology has advanced pretty far since the original Star Wars trilogy came out, but he didn't know that there were real lightsabers out there now.

Kate respects Malcolm deeply. She feels that he can understand her more than some others. It is a hard thing to step away from your family and pursue your own interests and craft a career out of it. She has friends in all walks of life but not many with an overactive work ethic. That makes Malcolm unique. (He's also adorable when he nerds out about weapons.)

"Define real?" Because Kate thinks that they are just using plexiglass ones lit up with LED lights.

They're in the same boat when it comes to making a life for yourself, one that your family isn't thrilled about. Both of them could fall back on trust funds, but Malcolm feels that he has a purpose in this life. He's supposed to use what he knows about killers to help catch them and put them away so they don't hurt anyone else. He's supposed to help victims get justice. It would be remiss of him to not use his time and energy to do that.

"I mean... they can't cut someone's hand off, right?" he asks.

"I think they're just made of plexiglass. You'd have to really want to cut off someone's hand." Kate replies. She could imagine a few scenarios but they were severely macabre to her. She has not seen the things Malcolm has. "They're selling some in the trade hall. Do you still collect weapons?"

"So not real real," he confirms. That's disappointing, but he also probably a good thing. People didn't need to be able to carry around high powered lasers.

"I do..." Malcolm replies, considering that. "I've never added any fictional weapons, though I almost bought a bat'leth once."

"No, not real real." It is a good thing that lightsabers are not real. There would be fights on the streets and lost limbs (mostly hands) everywhere. New York had a bad enough litter problem.

"Why didn't you?" Kate does not collect weapons. She collects depression glass jars, vintage dresses, buttons, and exes. "If it makes you happy..." She trails off clearly meaning that he should buy it. "Expand your weapon nerdiness."

Is it wrong that now he wants to investigate a murder committed by lightsaber? He bets there's at least one real one out there, even if what these competitors are using is fake.

"The quality wasn't what I was looking for," he replies. "If I ever come across one that's better quality though..." Then all bets are off. A bat'leth could definitely be a show piece in his collection.

One of the fencers backs up to avoid the blade of his opponent's lightsaber and ends up losing his balance and falling to the mat.

It is probably not wrong, per se. A lot of people have work-based fantasies such as physically throwing out rude customers or solving a lightsaber related murder. People have imaginations, they are going to use them.

"Why don't you have one commissioned?"

Kate winces when the competitor lands on his ass. The victor, the Sith, points his blade at the throat of Jedi and this match is over. The crowd applauds so Kate claps as well. "This kind of makes me want to look into stick fighting."

The second demonstration isn't going to be as flashy as the first. It is an actual duel with rules and a referee with their own blade. "I shouldn't be surprised that people have turned this into an actual sport and yet here I am. Pleasantly surprised, granted, which is nice."

"I could..." He shrugs. "I think they're cool, but I'm not really a huge Star Trek fan." Not big enough of one that he feels like he must own a bat'leth. If he were... he probably would have sought one out by now. He tends to prefer real weapons, but the lightsabers are pretty damn cool.

"Stick fighting can be fun," Malcolm continues as he claps for the competitors. "I've done a bit of training in that. And I'm not surprised at all that someone has turned this into a sport. Quidditch is a sport now."

"Is it? Anywhere in the city? I need something to inflict my anger on." She has a bakery and works customer service. Kate knew people who were entitled but she had never realized before opening it just how entitled a customer could be. It was different and she couldn't hit them or forcibly throw them out. Yoga is great for flexibility, being toned and cute outfits. However, Kate really needs to hit something.

"Yes and I'll be impressed when they can actually fly."

"I haven't done it in a while, but I'm sure there's a place in the city," he says. "I'll check back through my contacts and see what I can find." Malcolm hasn't trained for a while and could probably use a tune up himself.

"Me too. A flying broom would be pretty amazing. If they make those, I definitely want one." He's pretty sure they don't, though.

"I'd appreciate that," Kate replies and continues to watch the match. Her head tilts to the side slightly. There are rules, she can tell. The referee occasionally steps in to call a play. "How close to actual fencing does this look to you?"

"I suppose the closest we'll ever get to that is a hoverboard." She means the handsfree scooter, of course.

"Somewhat..." he answers. "The moves are a bit different, but the basic premise seems to be the same." Don't get hit with the other person's sword while you try to hit them.

Malcolm turns back to Kate, a smile on his face. "Now you're talking about my greatest Back To The Future fantasies." He'd probably pay a stupid amount of money for a real, working hoverboard.

"Which is?" If he says that the objective is not to get hit she is going to give him the side-eye.

Kate smiles back at Malcolm. She finds his little nerd smile adorable. "What would you do with it if you had one?"

"Generally, don't get hit." He'll take that side-eye now. "You want to jab or hit your opponent while not getting jabbed or hit yourself."

"Oh man." He grins. "What wouldn't I do? Obviously I'd take it for a ride through the Upper East Side." Let all the rich people be jealous of his sweet hoverboard.

There is the side-eye that is a very long. "You're hysterical."

Kate raises her hand to cover her mouth. She can't help but to chuckle a little bit at the mental image that formed inside her mind. "I can picture it now. Wrap-around shades, hair blowing behind you and waving at the people staring. Clearly, they would be in awe of your sick moves."

"It's a little more complicated than that," he says. "There's a point system. But the gist of it is to not get hit."

Malcolm grins at her. "I feel like it would be very effective transportation. Better than a car or the subway, in my opinion."

"Can you avoid the hits freestyle or are there rules you have to follow?"

She grins back, "Not to mention very ecofriendly. I'm imaging all the surprised looks as you glide by. I'm also imagining you wearing a lot of neon, you know, for maximum visibility."

[ ooc: I don't know the rules of fencing so I'm just going to make shit up. ]

"You have to keep in a certain stance," Malcolm says. "If you watch fencing, the combatants mostly move back and forth in a line. It's not a freestyle fight." The duelists currently on the mat swinging lightsabers at each other seem to have a bit more freedom to move right and left. It's like fencing-lite.

Malcolm scrunches up his nose. "I wouldn't be caught dead in neon, but the rest of it sounds accurate. It'd be very ecofriendly if it was powered by electric."

((ooc: Making shit up? In an RP? Revolutionary!))
"There should be more freestyle fencing." How many more sports would be more entertaining if they were freestyle? Loads, Kate is certain.

"But neon is part of the aesthetic, Malcolm. You have to go for maximum visibility in order to be seen by the maximum amount of people. You would want them to know it's you, right?"

The lightsaber fencing match goes on for a couple of minutes more before the victor is announced. The audience politely claps. Kate turns back to Malcolm. "Are you doing anything later this afternoon?"

[ ikr? ]

"I think that's just fighting," Malcolm says. There's probably freestyle fencing out there, but there might not be any official organization that coordinates it. Malcolm's not aware of it, at least.

He cocks an eyebrow at her. "You think I want to be seen? I guess I won't be able to help it if I'm on a hoverboard."

Malcolm claps for the victor, then reaches inside his coat pocket to check his phone. "Nothing, as of right now. No texts from Gil either, so I guess I don't have a case."

"Why wouldn't you want to be seen? In this epic fantasy of yours, what do you see yourself doing if not being seen?" It is an honest question. She wants to know and he has her undivided attention.

She assumes Gil is his boss and nods her head. "Do you want to go for a coffee after? I mean, I have to disassemble and clean up but later today?"

He opens his mouth and closes it, thinking about that. "I guess I'd want to be seen a bit," Malcolm admits. Otherwise, why ride a hoverboard through Manhattan. "I just don't really like drawing attention to myself." All the attention he's had in the past has been because of his father, and thus has been negative.

"Sure. I can have a look at some of the weapons they have for sale here." Good thing he brought the black card.

"Mmhmm." Is there a better feeling than that of being right? Yes, there are! However, none of theme are applicable to their current setting and venue. "So when someone finally releases real hoverboards, we'll forego the neon. I can live with that." Because she has been right that he does want to be seen if only for a short while. "You won't see me on one until I've mastered it."

Kate nods her head and stands. "Say an hour? I'll meet you at the main entrance?" She wants to get a head start on cleaning up. There is a way in which she likes to do things. She is very particular but to her credit, she knows how she is. "I know a place nearby."

Even though he hates being wrong, Malcolm will take it on the chin and keep going. Kate wasn't trying to one-up him or anything. Despite being able to read others, Malcolm isn't always the best at reading or acknowledging his own behavior.

"That should give me enough time to look around at the lightsabers." He smiles. "See you then."

An hour later, Malcolm meets Kate at the entrance of the convention center. He's holding a box.

"I couldn't resist, even if it's not a real weapon."

"Okay, Malcolm." Kate smiles and heads off. She's the boss and that means that while she helped set everything up and supervise, she doesn't have to take everything back to her bakery. It is what her employees are for!

When she meets up with Malcolm she has a small yellow cardboard box of her own, she has bag and is ready to go. "I saved you a strawberry one, for later." She adds. Her feelings will not be hurt if he gives it to someone else. "Do you collect real weapons?" Kate asks as they head out. The coffee place she has in mind isn't even a half block away. IT's a good place to get a latte and chat without being a Starbucks.

"Oh, thanks," he says. Malcolm likes strawberry. He's already had two different kinds of cupcakes today though, so he'll have to see how his stomach takes to those before he tries anything else.

He falls into step beside her. "Yes. Mostly ancient blades, but I have a few early guns as well. It's a hobby of mine."

"That sounds so much more interesting than what I collect, depression glass and antique broaches." Also, she collects weird and unusual vintage buttons. "What's your favorite piece so far?"

"I've seen some really nice antique broaches on various auction websites." He's thought about his mother a few times when looking at them, but they're not really Jessica's taste. "I have a katana from the sixteenth century that is a masterpiece of craftsmanship. It's absolutely beautiful."

He grins. "I try not to touch it too much but sometimes I can't help myself and I have to take it out of the case."

"It's hard to tell with auction websites but if you ever come across anything Edwardian, let me know."

Malcolm is painting quite the picture inside Kate's imagination. It causes her to smile. She is picturing him playing with the sword and pretending that he's a ninja. "Do you know how to use it? You'll have to show it to me one day."

"Sure." He tends to use reputable dealers, ones that he's worked with before in the city.

"Oh yeah," he tells her. "I'd be happy to show it to you." Malcolm notices her smile. "What?" He... might have pretended that he's a ninja a few times when he's alone in his apartment.

They continue to walk. They are almost there.

"Oh, it's nothing." She says of her smile. "I'm just imagining you home alone and practicing. That's all." Kate turns her head to look at him, clearly amused. She's not making fun of him. Most people, she knows from experience, continue to play well into their adulthood and beyond (even if they don't admit to it). "So why weapons?"

Edited (forgot to close an HTML tag) 2021-07-05 01:04 (UTC)

He rolls his eyes playfully. So much for trying to act cool about it. At least Kate doesn't seem to think he's a dork.

"I think they're fascinating?" he answers, a tinge of a question in his reply. "They're often so beautifully made... I think it's the dichotomy of something so beautiful being used for something so deadly and macabre."

Kate is not judging Malcolm's choice of collections, she is simply curious (or nosy). "So you collect the pretty weapons?" Her brow arches a little bit wondering if that's true. Again, no judgements because most of her hobbies and interest align with pretty things.

The Narration is going to skip them ahead to where they have reached the coffeeshop, have ordered their drinks and found a table.

"Do you collect axes? I only ask because those could be considered a tool first and a weapon second."

"The pretty ones are the interesting ones," Malcolm says. The two of them sit down at a table in the cafe, coffee cups in hand. "Why make something that's supposed to be utilitarian such a work of art?"

He takes a sip of his coffee. "I collect battle axes. Most of them are Viking."

"Vanity. Pride. To show that you can." Kate shrugs her shoulders a little bit. It's a motivation that she is familiar with. If she was going to go through the trouble of crafting a weapon, it would first be functional then she would add decorative details. Vanity, thy name is Kate.

Kate has ordered the most basic of drinks, a vanilla latte. She takes a sip and savors the deliciousness. Coffee addict, thy name is Kate too. "Most? How many do you own?"

He nods. "In some cases, weapons like these can be considered sacred. The warriors who wielded them might be highly trained, upper class men." Like samurai. He's got a few katana that he cherishes.

Malcolm's coffee is an espresso because he runs on caffeine. "Battle axes?" He pauses to think for a second. "Maybe ten?"

"Just ten?" It makes Kate wonder, "How many weapons do you own?" He has to know the exact number, give or take a little. "Or should I try to guess?"

Malcolm grins. "Too many to display all of them in my display cases," he says. "I might have lost count of the actual number."

Then it's a bit easier to lie to himself and act like he doesn't have a problem.

"I tried to buy a guillotine once."

"Malcolm. I know we all like to have our conversation pieces but isn't a guillotine a bit much?" Kate lightly laughs and immediately raises a hand to her mouth. "Although I would pay to see some people's reaction to it."

"What?" he asks. "It would be a great conversation piece. I'd take the blade out. Maybe." More likely he'd find a way to lock it in place so that somebody wouldn't accidentally trigger it and end up chopping their hand off. "I feel like it would really go with the aesthetic of my apartment."

"Oh, you would not take the blade out if you were going to keep it on display. Why cut a cake with a sword when you can use a guillotine?" Because where is the fun in not having the ability to scare your guests by releasing the blade. It is a novelty to have. "What's your aesthetic? Dungeon master?"

Edited 2021-08-29 00:44 (UTC)

He laughs and grins. "More.. neo-Gothic? Modern Gothic?" Dark furnishings, books, weapons display cases and Goya paintings. "Also, I'm definitely marking that down for my next birthday: guillotine cake cutter."

Jessica would be horrified, but it's his birthday. She can deal with it.

Kate laughs. She finds what she's about to say very amusing. "I'll make you a red velvet cake for the cutting. I'll even add a raspberry filling for a little extra gore." High society matrons may not find the idea very humorous which is one of the reasons she thinks it's so funny. "Can you imagine the look on people's faces?"

"Yes. That would be amazing." Jessica would hate it, which makes him want to do it all that much more. "Thank you for indulging my morbid side."

All cops have a morbid side. Most often, he has to hide it because it's not considered 'polite' in society to talk about things like murder. He's glad to have a friend like Kate who lets him be who he is.

Jessica would absolutely loathe it and find it in poor taste.

"You're very welcome." Would pink colored frosting be too much to add? Probably. Would she still include it? Probably! "Again, I would do it just for the look on their faces and then play innocent. I mean, how could I possibly know that you'd use a guillotine to cut your cake?" Kate puts on the best fake innocent expression that she can muster.

She is glad that she has reconnected with Malcolm. It's so easy to talk to him and she feels as though they have a natural rapport. She can be honest too.

"Maybe I'll actually agree to let mother throw me a birthday party this year." Malcolm takes a sip of his coffee. "She'll have no idea what she's getting herself into."

"You should. I'll bake you the goriest cake for cutting that I can. And then one that's actually edible." There are a lot of things she can do with molding chocolate, ganache and spun sugar. Jessica would never see it coming nor would most of the guests.

"Just so I know, when is your actual birthday?" She needs time to experiment and plan.

"April 17th," Malcolm says. He's kind of excited now. He hasn't had a real birthday party since he was a kid.

"As much as I'd want to see her face when all of society watched a guillotine cut my cake, I really wouldn't want to invite all of society to my party. I'd rather it be people that I want to have there."

Kate nods her head. She might have gotten a little carried away with the talk of society watching a guillotine cut a gory cake up. "Then I'll throw you one. You tell me who you want to be there and I'll send them an invitation."

Maybe she won't actually be able to get a real guillotine and if if she could, there's the issue of cleaning one. However, she knows a fair amount of people in New York. Perhaps she can have a miniature one commissioned for Malcolm. If it doubled as a bagel slicer all the better then. It would make the perfect birthday gift. "I won't invite anyone else, I promise." She means it.

A smile crosses his face. "That's really nice of you. Thanks." He's not used to having friends who care about him enough to want to do something nice like throw him a birthday party.

"It won't be a very big party. I don't have a lot of friends."

"I should introduce you to some of mine. Once a month we all gather and marathon Chopped. We eat cheap pizza and drink nice wines. I should warn you. We have a drinking game but it's not for the faint of heart. You might enjoy watching it though."

"I like drinking games and Chopped," Malcolm says, finding it kind of ironic that he might end up getting together with a bunch of chefs and bakers, considering that he's an incredibly picky eater who doesn't eat more than about two meals a day.

"You do?" Kate grins. She is pleasantly surprised, more than pleasantly surprised. "It's good that we have that in common because we get very invested in the competition especially when someone uses the ice cream maker in the dessert round." Kate takes a sip of her coffee. "The next time we get together, I will invite you. It's usually on a Monday night."

"So much drama around an ice cream maker," Malcolm says with a shake of his head. "Thanks, though. I'd like to come."

He's not sure if he'll be considered a total weirdo by these people since he enjoys talking about murder and crime solving, but he guesses he can try. At least Kate likes him.

"Just wait until you see a room full of adults screaming at the television. I think you'll be amused." There are two thoughts of using the ice cream maker. The first is that it is the easy way to make a dessert. The second being that if you're going to make ice cream for dessert it had best be perfect and it so often is not.

"I'll text you the invite." Kate likes Malcolm too. She had forgotten how easy he is to talk to.

"I used to watch Star Trek with all the guys in my dorm at college, so I've been in a room full of adults screaming at a television," he replies with a smile. College wasn't that bad. He was able to make a few friends who didn't know about his past and didn't think he was a total weirdo. A lot of them were weird too.

"Thanks. As long as I don't have a case, I should be able to come."

"You're almost a full-on nerd, Malcolm." Kate says with a little smile as if to imply that she won't tell anyone about his nerdiness. If he thinks his college friends are weird, wait until he meets Kate's Chopped friends. "If you can't make it to the next one, there is the one after it."

"Is it just special cases that you get called in on?" Because it is New York and New York does have quite a bit of murders and other horrible crimes. "The grizzly ones?"

"Almost?" Malcolm questions. He thinks he's pretty full-on nerd. Granted, he tends to be nerdy about weird things, like weapons and murder.

"I consult on a lot of cases," he says. "In my opinion, my help is always needed, it's just not always wanted. Gil probably wishes I'd work less, but our precinct ends up picking up some very weird cases."

"Almost." She reaffirms because she has seen some behind the scenes things at the fencing competition that would put him to shame. Kate has seen things elsewhere as well.d

"Like what?" The question pop out of her mouth before she even thinks about the properness of it. "I mean, if you're at liberty to say. I don't want you to get into trouble." She cannot say anything about his workaholic habits. Kate is one herself but she whittles out time for herself here and there.

He loves talking about his cases, and as long as they're ones that are closed, he can share details.

"One where a woman who was a neophiliac killed the man she loved and then kept the body perfectly preserved. He didn't even look dead."

That was a particularly unique and startling case. What can he say? There are weirdos in New York.

"Ew." Is her immediate response. Whatever Kate had been imagining Malcolm to say, it had not been that. Even though he had not said that the woman had been a necrophiliac, the implications linger. As much fun as they were having discussing using a guillotine to slice a red velvet cake just a few minutes ago, she can't mask how revolting that idea is to her.

There are no other questions besides the simple, "Why?"

Yeah, that's a usual reaction to when he discusses his cases. He can't even fault her for it. This one's pretty gross.

"He didn't love her back, so this way she could keep him forever, perfectly preserved." Malcolm takes a sip of his coffee, relatively unfazed. "Dahmer tried to do the same thing with some of his victims, though his plan was not nearly as well thought out."

Her nose crinkles as she ponders his case. "But how? Wouldn't he start to smell?" Kate is now imagining all the gross things that come along with keeping a dead body. There is not a singular pleasant thought amongst them.

"Please tell me that you haven't had any run-ins with a cannibal?"

"You'd be surprised how well bodies can be preserved these days," he tells her. "There was a case in Russia where a man kept the mummified remains of 26 girls and young women in his house." Malcolm shrugs. "But they would eventually start to decay, yes."

"I have," he says solemnly, "though that was an FBI case, not NYPD."

It boggles her mind. Her nose crinkles again as she listens on in grim fascination.

"Malcolm, you're a psychologist. Where does this kind of behavior come from in humans? The mummification? The murder? Do you think the first humans had a concept of psychopathy?"

He loves talking about things like this, and loves that Kate is asking him about them. Most people would just think that he's morbid and change the subject.

"It stems from wanting to keep something, to hold on to it. Maybe they experienced some kind of loss that affected them deeply," Malcolm says. "Sometimes it also has to do with protection, but mostly it's possession. Dahmer tried to do the same thing with his victims when he tried to turn them into zombies."

"Yes but I mean in early humans. We don't see most animals hunt for sport or keep trinkets." Except for dolphins but the psychopathy of dolphins is a subject for another conversation. "Do you think it's a result of our higher brain functions? I don't think humanity is inherently selfish or cruel but somewhere, something must have gotten scrambled."

"You're asking anthropological questions," he says, "which isn't my area of expertise, but I can still take a stab at it, knowing what I know now. It's possible that early humans assigned meaning to these objects. Serial killers do that. They keep trophies because when they see them or touch them, they can relive the experiences of killing those victims and how it felt for them to do so."

"I suppose that I am." She's not sure. She's never had a conversation about murder and serial killers before. It's fascinating if a bit grim. "So, like how ancient people buried items with their dead?" Or maybe it's nothing like that at all. People are weird. Just when you think you've figured someone out, they up and change on you or abandon you completely but that is a story for another time. "I can't imagine killing someone and wanting to keep a memento."

He hums in his throat. "I'm not really a historian or anthropologist, but I think people were often buried with items because those still living thought they might need them in the afterlife. The pharaoh's tombs of Ancient Egypt come to mind, or burying people with coins to pay the ferryman to cross the river Styx."

Malcolm smiles. "The reason you can't imagine wanting to keep a memento from killing someone is because you're not a psychopath." Aren't you glad, Kate?

"How do you know I'm not a psychopath? I willingly went into the service industry." A pause before she adds, "No. You're right. I'm not any kind of path. I might be a masochist though."

Malcolm smiles. "You don't exhibit any of the traits of a psychopath," he replies. "Though I agree that anyone working in the service industry might secretly be a masochist though."

He definitely could not work in any kind of restaurant. Working with people in that manner would probably push him over the edge.

"I probably am. I'm surprised I haven't reacted violently to some of my customers. Don't get me wrong, the thought is definitely there sometimes." It's a wonder more people in the service industry don't commit violent crimes. Maybe they are all just gluttons for punishment. Maybe it's the training. Who knows.

"You should come by sometime."

"I might," he tells her. Malcolm tends to like sweets. They're one of the few foods that he feels comfortable eating. They don't bleed and not all of them are overly rich. "Especially if everything you make is like those cupcakes you brought today."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

We all have our FOILbles. -- For prodigalmess

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