[ This all hurts a part of him that just wanted her to be proud. She's understandably worried and the worry he can deal with -- it's just the edge of disappointment he imagines that hurts him more. Katherine's disapproving stare. The chilling thought of her ever treating him with the same distance as Suzaku when he came home a failure.
But she's not Katherine. She's Kate. And she could never push him away like that. This is why he's telling her -- why it's safe to tell her. ]
the contract was already signed, kate. yeah, mammon's still here and there's still a chance to barter with him, but i don't want anyone else taking my place or owing him anything. i already talked to fitz and he asked the same sort of thing.
but you know, until now aindreas and i had a lot in common. thinking only of ourselves, ready to throw those we don't care about to the wolves. i'm trying to be different. i'm trying to change the narrative that's dictated my whole life. i just want to do something good for a change.
even if there's a risk i could lose myself in the process.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2022-06-13 12:34 pm (UTC)But she's not Katherine. She's Kate. And she could never push him away like that. This is why he's telling her -- why it's safe to tell her. ]
the contract was already signed, kate. yeah, mammon's still here and there's still a chance to barter with him, but i don't want anyone else taking my place or owing him anything. i already talked to fitz and he asked the same sort of thing.
but you know, until now aindreas and i had a lot in common. thinking only of ourselves, ready to throw those we don't care about to the wolves. i'm trying to be different. i'm trying to change the narrative that's dictated my whole life. i just want to do something good for a change.
even if there's a risk i could lose myself in the process.